Gratitude Prayer for Internet Creeping

Thank God for the internet,
both as a source of dates
and a way to suss them out,
though to be honest, I only ever
creep post-positive impression,
follow-up to eye-to-eye, maybe
mouth-to-mouth encounter.
That’s possibly unsafe, but I know
how judgey I can be – the way
that written words, so close
to my heart when I deem them
good, can also sound alarms.
So I save investigation
for a few dates in, when I feel
myself becoming more open
than the shell that rolls its way
to that first-date coffee shop.
Thank God for figuring out
his last name before things
go any further because I may
not believe anything I used to
about sex, but enough fragments
of purity rhetoric stick inside me
that, despite myself, I’d be ashamed
if he stayed “Luke, 32, from Bumble.”
Thank God that he doesn’t
appear to still be married,
that there’s no alt-right, incel
Twitter account. That there’s
not one of the many things
I don’t let myself even imagine,
because if I let myself imagine,
how would I ever get myself
out the door? Already all
the things I’ve actually known
line up as proofs for the nonexistence
of love. So thank God
I am still at a stage where good
might be discovered as much
as bad – for being in the before,
no heartbroken yelp yet, no shoe
lobbed at the back of my closet.

Jonah & the Whale Sign Craft Kit - $9.99

“Where are you going Jonah? You can’t hide from the Lord!”

Remember God is prowling, Jonah!
And also whoever has this sign hung up
on their fridge, whoever put it together
with tiny hands. There is no room
of the house where He can’t see you.
And He’s looming outside too. You
can take a boat, a bicycle, an Uber,
but none will move swiftly enough
to outrun Him. But still, we say
it’s good news - this scary surveillance.
The horror of always being seen is worth it,
if it means we can throw a worse
horror away: Jonah running further
and further, so that God disappears
from his life like an ex with whom it’s finally
over, exactly what Jonah thinks he wants;
Jonah, meaning ourselves, facing
a reality where no one watches
or draws us back into their arms.

Megan McDermott is a poet and Episcopal priest living in Western Massachusetts. Her first chapbook, Prayer Book for Contemporary Dating , will be published by micro-press Ethel in late 2021. Her poems have appeared in a number of publications, including Rust + Moth, Sad Girl Review, Neologism Poetry Journal , Rogue Agent Journa l, and more. As a seminarian, she studied at Yale’s Institute of Sacred Music, an interdisciplinary program dedicated to religion and the arts.